Home Update

It’s been a week since mom came home and finally things are getting better. The first few days were very difficult for Liz and I, and I felt totally out place and unable to be a caregiver. Liz had some scheduling issues with work but spent the first night with me (thank God because I was a nervous wreck), and after that I was there 24 hours a day for 2 days straight, with Liz coming in to calm the nerves between work shifts. It was during those moments I thought WTF have I committed myself too. There was a point where I lost it for a moment, and thought, I am going to have to put her in a home.

But things changed.

Within a few hours of being home mom realized hey, this where I live and this is where I used to smoke too! She started to look for cigarettes and could not find them, but she DID BUG FOR SOME! I mean it was constant every 5 minutes. After a day we caved and gave her some, and that was a bad idea, for it turned into a chain smoking ordeal. This stroke has left her with some very compulsive behaviors, such as changing TV channels, combing her hair and putting on Chap Stick. We have finally weaned her from the smoking part of it, but the other behaviors continue! It’s very hard to watch TV I must tell you, and sometimes we take the controller from her and give her one that does not work, but she is getting wise to that!

My wife found a nurse who has come in twice and done a great job helping. We are thinking we can use her maybe twice a week to help off set some mornings for us. She is wonderful with mom and mom seems to like her too. I also found an Elder Day Care center 4 blocks from her house and they are willing to take her on as a ‘day timer ‘ as needed. This place keeps the folks very busy and makes them tired for the night time sleeping. They also do activities and exercises and provide a hot lunch. I am going to try and utilize them also and not break mine or my mom’s bank in the process. I am working on her financial needs, paying bills, lining up Social Security benefits, and tapping into her IRA. I look at it this way, if she were to pass, what good would her assets have done in this time of need? (Thanks to my dad for that pointer).

Each day brings progress, mentally and physically. She can bath/shower herself (with a little help) and use the bathroom (it’s hard to pull up or put on clothes when one are doesn’t work to well) but I do not trust her to be alone or cook, those things will HOPEFULLY come back for her. She starts her PT/OT/SP next week (July 17^th) and Liz will be taking her there for that. Our goal is to get right arm usage back a bit more and a steady balance to walk unaided as needed.

It’s been an enlightening experience for me. I have gone from a do what I want, when I want kind of guy, to taking the focus off of my needs and giving them to her. It was high time I grew up and became the man I should be, so I have mom to thank for that. Check in often to the website and see new stuff as often as I can post

http://suedonakowski.blogspot.com/